After completing my previous 4000 words essay last term, was really hesitant and apprehensive about starting my dissertation proposal. I have by far found this the most difficult essay to complete because I have struggled with other personal factors that have effected my work. Initially whilst filling out the form, i wanted to do my dissertation on a completely different topic, I had a few general ideas about what i wanted to do but was overall unsure of where i was headed with the ideas i had so far. My initial ideas after my meeting with Martyn was to do something surrounding the idea of biology, history, psychology and design, however, no matter what i thought of regarding these subjects, i just found them really uninspiring.
After the initial struggle of trying to figure out what i was going to write about in my proposal, i took a step back to re-think my ideas because clearly what i currently had wasn’t really working for me. For some reason when i was trying to think about what i liked and what inspired me in my work, i just hit a wall and couldn’t think of anything that interested me. I didnt want to chose a topic that i knew i would get bored of, i wanted to do something that i had an interest in so that i found my work fun and interesting. After alot of back and fourth with my ideas, i decided that although my last essay was something completely new for me, i was really interested in the research i did for it and it was quite refreshing to look at different ideas from a new perspective. For my dissertation propsal i decided to expand upon the ideas i already had about animating the inanimate because i feel like its a topic that i could really get stuck into.
After finally identifying what i actually wanted to do, i was somewhat enthusiastic and happy about what i had so far and generating new ideas. Looking back at my reflection sheet from my last essay and recapping what i did was a massive help as i gave me a refresh in what i already knew and also left some gaps in my knowledge which i could explore further. Due to personal reasons and massive set backs in my mental health, i found this dissertation proposal incredibly difficult to get stuck into. Although i felt enthusiastic about my topic, i found that for a good few months i was completely drained and just lacked motivation towards everything which obviously had a huge impact on my work. I also think that i put it off alot because i was mainly panicking about the fact that this is towards my dissertation and its a big thing and spent alot of my time worrying that i hadn’t chosen the right topic to focus on. This then also made me think about what I wanted to get out of my dissertation and how i could relate it back to my practice and link it back to my style of working and my ideas. Because my this is a dissertation proposal, i also had to spend alot of time thinking about which format i wanted to do it in. Given the subject ive chosen, I feel like the 8000-10000 word format would be the most appropriate for me because there is so much that i could write about and i feel like this will allow me to going into the detail needed.
I was satisfied with my dissertation tutor, however i felt like the format of the sessions would have been more beneficial to me if they were similar to the seminars from last term. Because last term we were in our rooms and had the whole day to learn something and ask questions, it motivated me to do work where as this term it was very self led and i really struggled with getting into the swing of things. I also found that during my tutorial in the heart space, i got really easily distracted so it wasn’t entirely beneficial to me and my style of learning. Due to my set back with my mental health, i didn’t manage to make it into uni to have as many contact hours with my supervisor as i would have liked. I also think that this is another reason why i struggled, however at the time getting into university was very difficult for me. Another issue that occurred with seeing my tutor was the snow which stopped me from attending a couple of my tutorials.
Whilst I am still very nervous about my dissertation and what im going to write for it, i now feel like i have a plan and ive made a step in the right direction. Although it wasn’t particularly something that i wanted to have to do, the deadline extension was incredibly beneficial to me and i found that i meant that i could spend a bit more time on my dissertation proposal whilst i sorted out other personal issues. This also gave me time to expand on my ideas and have a good think about what i wanted to do for my dissertation before rushing into anything that i might have regret. Despite all the stress throughout the duration of this module I didn’t stay in contact as much as i should have so my communication skills with both my tutor and my peers will definitely be something to work on for my dissertation as a personal goal if nothing else. Although it took a while, im pleased with the path that i have taken for my dissertation proposal and although the idea of writing my dissertation is still terrifying, its a little less scary now that I have a plan and a direction.